Tiki Talk: Jokes for September, October, and November

11/18/13

George Zimmerman was arrested today after pulling a shotgun on his girlfriend in her Florida home. When asked why he aimed the firearm at her Zimmerman said, "I'm just trying to get convicted this time, I mean, even I thought I was guilty last time."

11/15/13

A woman recently traded a wedding ring from a previous marriage for tickets to this Sunday's Chiefs-Broncos game. The man who traded her the tickets was amazed she was willing to part with it, since wedding rings traditionally cost way more than Chiefs-Broncos tickets. 

ESPN anchor Jorge Andres publicly apologized during Sports Center Thursday after saying Rockets point guard Jeremy Lin was, "cooking with some hot peanut oil." Andres was suspended earlier this month when he said that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was throwing so poorly, "it was as if he was throwing apple pies at the county fair." Racist indeed.  

...He said he did not mean to offend Lin, who has been known to cook with many other sauces including worcestershire and hollandaise.  

On Thursday singer Chris Brown checked out of a rehab facility following an arrest in Washington DC. Very strange considering Club Rehab in Las Vegas is not known to have rooms, just a series of overpriced luxury cabanas. 

Alec Baldwin was caught using a gay slur recently when he called a photographer, who was trying to take pictures of his family, a cock-sucking fag. I honestly don't see what the problem is, since when is sucking on whole male chickens a gay thing to do? 

In an interview with CNN, Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson admitted to the world that Jennifer Lawrence was his first big screen kiss. He went on to say it was, "like really cool and neat and stuff."

Lady Gaga was recently spotted wearing a bracelet which has a unique look, it's basically a set of fake human teeth. The creator said usually the bracelets are made with fake teeth, but Lady Gaga doesn't "fuck around" and she had to find live human teeth. 

11/5/13

A woman in Michigan lost her job after posting a picture of her tasteless "Boston marathon bombing victim" costume to her Twitter account. She was later quoted as saying, "...I just have to learn from it. I'm not a terrible person." And you know what? She's not a terrible person, she's an AWFUL person. Like Hitler awful. 

10/30/13

The Pentagon's National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency is creating its own digital map of the world. This is why the government is so far in depth, they spend money on things they don't need. (Google Maps!)

9/13/13

An 8 year old boy recently wrote a letter to Santa, and instead of asking for toys, he asked for the boys at his school to stop bullying his overweight sister. Santa responded to the letter explaining that the boys bullying her are actually just "negging" her and that everything is actually just fine. 

Thanks for reading guys! And please stay tuned to epictiki.com for episode 5 of Epic Tiki's Tiki Talk Talk Show with special guest Michael Cella!!!