Tiki Talk Talk Show: Monologue Jokes 3/25/13

I decided to start increasing my joke writing output! So these entries will come out every two to three days now. My eventual goal is to do this daily. Enjoy! Or don't! I ain't trippin'!

A man in Glendale lost control of his car and ended up on top of a neighbor's roof. He later admitted that he didn't actually lose control of the car, he had just been watching Batman Begins earlier in the day.

Apple and Google are now adding indoor GPS to their mapping applications. Unfortunately you still won't be able to remember why you went into a room when you forget.  

A Canadian couple was attacked by a great white shark while observing it in a diving cage. The shark said he wanted to taste Canadian, the other other other white meat. 

A man was sentenced to 30 months in prison after shining a laser pointer at an airplane. Authorities believe he may also have been involved in the shooting of Mrs. Johnson's parakeet with a BB gun. 

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is issuing a $100,000 startup grant to whoever can invent a new condom that "significantly preserves or enhances pleasure." Gates is calling it an early anniversary present to his wife. 

After losing to the US in a qualifying match for the 2014 World Cup, Costa Rica has asked FIFA for a rematch, citing that the snowstorm during the game caused the markings on the pitch to be invisible. What's weird is they made no complaint about the US team being made up of cyborgs with X-ray vision. 

Angelina Jolie is meeting with women and girls in eastern Congo to talk about sexual assault and violence. She told them, "Even if you come to America, it will still happen. I mean just look at Rihanna."

Thanks for reading bruddah!