Tiki Talk Talk Show: Monologue Jokes 3/29/13

More than 220 people were rescued from ice floes in Latvia after they had split off from the coast. The people being rescued would have taken a plane but the only way out of Latvia is via ice floe.

Investigators are saying about 7,000 patients of a dental office in Oklahoma may have been exposed to HIV and Hepatitis over the last six years. The office, known locally as "Madam Catrina's Cat House and Family Dentistry," has been shut down.

The CDC is launching another anti-smoking campaign featuring disfigured former smokers. That's right folks it's still not safe to watch television without a barf bowl in your lap. 

Lifetime has cancelled the long running series America's Most Wanted. Apparently America's Most Wanted was not America's most wanted, show to watch.

The Cowboys have signed quarterback Tony Romo to a six year deal, the biggest in franchise history. No one is sure what Jerry Jones is thinking at this point but sources on the team were quoted as saying, "We think he has whatever Al Davis had."

Twitter followers of Congressman Bruce Braley were outraged when he compared Iowa State's loss to Ohio State in the Sweet 16 tournament to the Trail of Tears. It's not all bad news though as the Iowa State team has been granted permission to open a casino next year to make up for the loss. 

A photo has surfaced online of Lindsay Lohan sitting under a table at a nightclub in Brazil. Her friends said they were worried that this was odd behavior because there wasn't a penis in her mouth.

Thanks for reading my friends! Stay thirsty or something!