Tiki Talk Talk Show: Monologue Jokes 3/31/13

The Obama administration has withdrawn a proposal to allow Medicare to pay for sex-change operations. Luckily Milton Bradley is still planning to release a Chaz Bono themed edition of their popular board game Operation.

Justin Bieber's monkey was quarantined in Germany on Saturday. I guess they're finally filming that 28 Days Later prequel.

A Pennsylvania couple denied accusations of mistreating their adoptive Russian son after he returned to his home country. They said he couldn't get over thinking about being able to open up his own business someday and be an entrepreneur.

Scientists have attached video cameras to Humboldt squid to study their living habits. Things got real when they all moved in together and started sleeping around and not showing up to their jobs at Jamba Juice.

The body of a man who fell from a plane was found in Tennessee last week. He was attempting the world record for highest trust fall.

A man drove his car into a Walmart and began assaulting customers with a blunt object. He was almost immediately inducted into PeopleofWalmart.com's hall of fame. 

The Eiffel Tower was evacuated by police on Saturday after a bomb threat. That's right, they were trying to film Rush Hour 4 there.