Tiki Talk Talk Show: Monologue Jokes 4/24/13

Oil prices have dropped sharply this month according to the associated press. Bad news for super villains and their henchman as super spies will now be able to use more oil slicks than usual in car chases. 

Jenna Bush Hager, daughter of former president George W. Bush, said her water broke during her baby shower. Her baby, clearly his grandfather's grandson, said he thought he was supposed to give everyone a shower.

According to an audit released on Monday taxi drivers in Las Vegas overcharged passengers by $15 million last year. Apparently the video poker machines in the back seats were all rigged. 

A new study has shown that taking a marijuana pill called dronabinol may work just as well as smoking it. However if you take dronabinol and you feel muscle pain or weakness tell your doctor immediately as it could be a sign of a rare but serious side effect.

Porsha Stewart, wife of former NFL star Kordell Stewart, said she learned through Twitter that her husband had filed for divorce. She said she was surprised because he didn't update his relationship status on Facebook first. 

Canadian authorities have foiled what they believe was an al Qaeda plot to derail a train that goes from Toronto to New York. In the suspect's apartment they found several sticks of dynamite, a plunger detonator, and a lady tied to a rail tie.

A woman unknowingly transported 30 pounds of marijuana across the U.S.-Mexico boarder. She said she was wondering why her butt had gotten more bootylicious overnight. 

France legalized gay marriage Tuesday after a long and intense national debate. Politicians said they finally gave in because, "our women don't shave so basically it's been happening this whole time anyways."

Thanks for reading my friends!