Tiki Talk Talk Show: Monologue Jokes 5/1/13

On Monday NBA player Jason Collins became the first active player in North America's four major sports to announce that he is gay. He said it was very easy to pretend he was straight when everyone around him also owned over a hundred pairs of shoes and tons of jewelry.

...He said he was surprised that no one had ever guessed it before since he would complain every year about having to wear white home jerseys after Labor Day. 

New transplant technology allows doctors to keep organs "alive" outside of the body. Unfortunately it has been very difficult to build a portable version of Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory. 

To help combat terrorist activities Israel is now asking tourists for passwords to their personal emails. In some cases they have also been asking people for their mother's maiden name, favorite movie, and first pet's name. 

...Apparently the Israeli government hates junk mail so much that they won't tolerate it even in a visitor's email account.

A team of researchers have gotten together to recreate the world's first ever website. The website will be so authentic that no matter how fast your internet connection is it will still take 40 minutes to load. 

Catherine Zeta-Jones has checked into a healthcare facility to seek treatment for bipolar disorder II. She said, "the difficult part about staying there is I LOVE IT!!!" 

An English teacher in Virginia is being accused of having a yearlong sexual relationship with one of her students. Parents of the student found out when he had an A+ for every single one of his "oral" exams. 

In Wilcox County, Georgia high school students decided to hold the first ever integrated prom instead of the traditional "white" and "black" proms that have been held for the last 40 years. They said they were prompted to end the Jim Crow-like tradition after they finally received the Internet last year.

Thanks for reading friends!