Tiki Talk Talk Show: Monologue Jokes 6/5/13

Amanda Bynes has been arrested and taken in for psychiatric evaluation after throwing a bong from her apartment in New York City. Authorities said they felt the psychiatric evaluation was necessary after they found "perfectly good weed" left in the bowl of the bong.

A Caribbean cruise was cut short when a fire broke out on board. Eyewitnesses said passengers couldn't help themselves but sing "Me soul on fire, me mind on fire feelin' hot hot hot!" as they jumped off the boat.

In his interview with Esquire Brad Pitt said he may suffer from a disorder which keeps him from being able to recognize faces of people he's met. The disorder is called prosopagnosia or, as it is more commonly referred to, being an asshole.

An interview with a close friend of Brad Pitt revealed that Pitt and Angelina Jolie's daughter Zahara is tired of her parents' public displays of affection. He said she is gravely concerned over the amount of cooties going around in the Pitt/Jolie home. 

Lance Bass recently revealed on his radio show that NBA player Jason Collins reached out to him for advice on coming out of the closet. Collins asked Bass what was the one thing that made it easiest for him to come out to which he replied, "well I was in a boy band...."

A Japanese mayor apologized for suggesting the US military should use the adult entertainment industry in Japan to relieve sexual frustration and aggression while stationed there. He said, "I don't know what I was thinking, sexually assaulting random women in the streets of Tokyo would be much more preferable." 

Authorities intercepted two speedboats off the coast of Florida, sinking one, and recovering 13,000 pounds of cocaine worth over $1 billion from the other. Several weeks later additional authorities said the original authorities have not been heard from since they confiscated the cocaine.

... The authorities celebrated the bust with a cocaine stripper party.  

A fight broke out between two teenage girls at a kindergarten graduation in Cleveland. Afterwards the girls explained that they were only fighting because they didn't know how else to celebrate finally graduating from kindergarten after all these years. 

A train in eastern India killed three elephants and injured a fourth when it smashed into them on it's track. Eyewitnesses said they saw a fifth elephant with a mustache and a monocle fleeing the scene.

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Nina Agdal attended prom with YouTube sensation Jake Davidson after Kate Upton did not respond to his video asking her to go with him. Agdal said she had such a good time with Jake at his prom that she is hoping he will make a video asking Kate Upton to marry him. 

Sorry these are a little old, but still FUNKY and FRESH. Thanks for reading guys!