Microsoft's Don Mattrick addressed the issue many gamers have with the Xbox One being an online only device by saying, "Fortunately we have a product for people who aren't able to get some form of connectivity; it’s called Xbox 360." Snide comments aside, he's right, you're basically a savage if you don't have the internet yet.
On Tuesday Nintendo revealed new details about the highly anticipated 3DS titles Pokemon X and Y including the new Fairy type Pokemon. Nintendo said that it's super effective against Dragon type Pokemon and weak against Disapproving Christian Dad type Pokemon.
...They also revealed several other new Pokemon types including Furry, Bestiality, S&M, and Foot type Pokemon.
On Tuesday morning Nintendo announced that the Blue Bomber himself, Mega Man, will be joining the next Super Smash Bros. game on the Wii U and 3DS. Shortly after the announcement police arrived at E3 looking for "Terrorist Smurf."
Electronic Arts announced Monday that Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson will be on the cover of Madden 25. Peterson said he decided to do it because he gets closest to breaking records after coming back from serious injuries.
Microsoft announced Monday that the Xbox One will be priced at $499 or, way too much money for it's target audience.
Electronic Arts has revealed via a new trailer that Dice is working on a prequel to Mirror's Edge. A poll taken by IGN found that 90% of gamers won't buy it this time either.
Rap superstar Drake came out onstage during Electronic Arts's presentation to help introduce FIFA 2014. No, we don't know why he was there either.
Avalanche Studios and WB Interactive announced a brand new game based on the Mad Max film franchise. Avalanche Studios also announced that Mel Gibson will reprise the role but on one condition, he has to filter the crazy by saying all of his lines through a beaver puppet.
During its press conference Monday Sony revealed that the Playstation 4 will support used games, will not require an online connection, and will be priced at $399. Several minutes later Microsoft announced that it wanted a press conference do-over.
I will continue to add more jokes when I can as more amazing video game news comes out at E3. Thanks for reading guys! I hope you enjoy these jokes!