Random Tiki Talk Jokes From I Don't Know When

Apple is planning on including a UV sensor in its new iWatch to help people monitor their exposure to the sun. Because pasty white nerds don't already know to stay out of it. 

Late actor Mickey Rooney's will has revealed a fair amount of personal drama in the Hollywood screen icon's life. So much drama that CBS has offered a deal for Rooney's corpse to be on the next season of Big Brother. 

Chick-fil-A is hoping to re-brand itself as healthier and more hip by introducing a new line of grilled chicken menu items. Their slogan? "We thoroughly grill all our chicken to make sure it has a firm commitment to the heterosexual lifestyle!"

Disney Chairman Alan Horn has revealed that Star Wars Episode VII has already begun filming despite not having a completed cast. He said, "we're still looking for our next Hayden Christensen."